I am the World's Worst Salesman

This is an old vehicle description I wrote when selling my old Saab on Ebay. By the way, it ended up in the junkyard. Some find it humorous, so I figured I'd put it up.

This car starts and runs. However, the state inspection runs out in February and I do not want to fix all that I would have to in order to get a new sticker. This car would be a good parts car or a good car if one was willing to invest in it. I have a new car, bought on ebay of course, and I don't want to keep this one. So, I will warn of all the difficulties it has and express that there is no warranty, car comes as is.

This beautiful Saab, as I have said before, starts and runs just fine. It even gets good gas mileage (I think it is around 25 over all). But, it has a few problems that will ensure that it won't pass inspection next month. These are:

• Power windows have no more power but are still windows. They don't open and are permanently closed unless a few parts and motors are put back together. I have all the parts to do so, but some of them (like the driver's side motor and switch) do not work. Parts will come with the car or go to the junkyard (which is the fate for this operational car if this auction is unsuccessful.) 
• Windshield wipers are half-dead. I say only halfway because only one is dead. I could also say that the glass is half-full and that the wipers are half-operational. The driver's side wiper is a paperweight for supermarket flyers, the other works just fine. In the deep recesses of the beast there is a wire that frayed. If this little wire is replaced it will all work. 
• Muffler is problematic. I have worked on it and had it worked on many times, and have never replaced it (although someone else in its history may have). The muffler is on its way out, but works nonetheless. It is currently welded in a few parts and works; it does not hang down (although that could change at any moment). 
• Hatchback/trunk door does not open from the outside. Some sort of internal mechanical problem exists. However, the door can be opened by pushing a screwdriver or similar object into the mechanism and forcing the hook off of the bar. I would use more descriptive language if I were an engineer, but as it is all I can do is offer to send pictures to anyone interested. 
• Push-button starter. The original ignition does not work, but after a bit of rewiring it now has a two-part starting mechanism (Both parts are inside the cabin, close to where the ignition was). My first concern with push-buttons is the theft concern, but no one has stolen it so far (after about two years). What is probably the fanciest thing about this car is the piece of walnut burl that decorates the button. Of all the parts that I will take out before it is crunched that is the first. However, if this car is sold the buyer can have it. 
• Note: I do have a key, not that it would do you any good. 
• Back Brakes need to be changed. I have new ones, but have not put them in due to caliper circumstances beyond my control. 
• Right-side door handle(inside one) broken. Door still works, opens and shuts, but handle is broken. 
• Tires. All they have going for them is their inflation, and even that isn't even right now. No leaks, but they are going to need replacing sometime soon. 
• Manual transmission. It would miraculously shift through all five gears smoothly if such miracles occurred, but as it is they do not. All gears work, but third and occasionally fifth have problems. Third and fifth can be smoothly shifted into by myself, but others have had no end of difficulty. I like to drive this car; it does have some power left in it. It can accelerate fast, and as far as I know has a top speed of 85 mph (may go faster, but I would not try to, the tires being what they are). This car drives like a glorified go-kart. 
• Condition. The seats are made of tan cloth. There is wear and tear. Mostly wear however; there are not too many tears. The outside has green paint that is dinged and dirty in some spots, I have never washed this car. There is some rust, although not half as much rust as the muffler has. On the whole, this car is not unsightly nor in excellent condition. It has struck a balance just shy of inspectable. 

Like a good salesman I cannot remember any other problems right now. I think I have explained it all though. Email me with questions or requests for pictures.

I am starting this auction at $100 because that is how much the junkyard will give me for it. If I can make $110 all this will have been worth it. If you want a good parts car for your beloved Saab, or a good car to drive until the end of February (plus however long the "Rejected" sticker lasts), or just feel charitable and want to help out a needy college student, please bid.

What to buy with my life?

On being told that all the good jobs were in government I wrote the following. I wouldn't say I was inspired to do so, it sounds too pure, but I rather wrote what I ruminated.

I don’t want to work for the government, not because I loath cushy jobs with above average benefits, pay, retirement, and time off, but rather because I have a problem with state employees accepting such things from an employer who came upon the funds through tyranny. If I join the state in their dirty business, I become them; I turn into the object of my abhorrence; responsible for the stigma attached to the tyrant of today. I couldn’t live with myself if I became an accomplice to all the state does, even if it meant a comfortable life.

But, what should I do with my life? Is there a career for me? If disdain and deprecation is all I have for what the masses consider valuable, how can I be successful in any business? I can't sell things I don't consider valuable because I'd feel I was cheating a person into their own materialism.

Certain joys I have: Plants and People. Interaction with and knowledge about these I love to seek. There must be a spot for me somewhere.

I don’t know what to do with my life though. I want joyful, fulfilling purpose, I want to live for another's benefit, but with these thoughts in mind I invariably end up with a desire to protect people from tyranny. Even this, though, would not benefit anyone in the long run or in any permanent way. If history proves that there will never be a perfect world, why should I start building one?

Here’s the problem: Nothing lasts. Why should I invest the one valuable thing; time, in things that are worthless in comparison? No one would invest something of value into something without hope of a valuable return. Why should I use my time for anything but pleasure? That’s the only valuable return, and it’s dismally temporary. I can't win, I can't break even, and I can't get out of the game.

I don’t know what I’m here for, but I know what I don’t like. I don’t like tyranny. I don’t like onerous restriction of otherwise free people. I don’t like pain. I don't like the level of narcissism I sink to when writing stuff like this. Adios.

First Day at Virginia Tech, Fall 2009

The journey of a thousand miles begins badly

I didn’t do so well on Monday. I blame Friday. That’s when I played Ultimate Frisbee on the Drillfield. I played barefoot, stupidly, and wore my feet out. After almost two months of full time work and wearing of work shoes it seems my feet have weakened. It’s Monday night, almost eleven, and I can barely hobble around. I can’t stand without pain. I’ve taken 1200 milligrams of Ibuprofen today and I’ve not felt the slightest effect. I’ve taken more over the weekend, plus a variation of aspirin, and not once was there the least respite from the pain. I hobbled around at work, probably making everything worse. I hobbled around everywhere today, no doubt doing the same. Agh!

 Today was a bad day all around. I didn’t sleep long last night, or well. I had a bloody nose during the night and woke up to blood streaming from me into the crease my face made on the pillow. Somehow I shrugged this off; I was in a slumbering stupor evidently. I woke up to dried blood everywhere. It’s still on the pillow. Not a good start for the day.

 I made $100 and discovered that my work shoes were injurious to me at work yesterday. Today I bought new shoes (luckily I could return the bad shoes, they were only a month old). The old ones had a bar sticking up right in front of the heel, which evidently stressed the fascia there and all around the arch of my left and right feet. It felt terrible, but for some dumb reason I finished the last half of my double shift instead of going home. When I visited the Schiffert Health Center on Monday the doctor told me I have Plantar Fasciitis. I probably set the healing time back a week just by finishing my shift on Sunday. I won’t be able to work, I don’t think, for a week or two while I heal. I wonder what will happen. Money's a concern for the first time in a long time. I need to get to school, and I need to walk. I can’t make money at my present job. I need to inform my managers tomorrow that I’ll probably not be working on Wednesday or any of the other days this week and maybe next. I need a freaking wheelchair.

Today I spent fifty on gas, sixty on a textbook, and another ten or twenty on odds and ends. I drove Tan to Wal-Mart, something he’d needed to do for a few days. I’m helping him move furniture tomorrow. I hope I can have someone else move it, I can’t stand without pain. I can’t even push the freaking gas pedal without pain. I can’t end this pain, either. I’m going to down some more Ibuprofen and go to bed. Today was a disaster.

I was late for my first class today. I left early to find parking and was late because not only could I find none on campus, but I had to hobble across campus to get to class. Today was a disaster.