What to buy with my life?

On being told that all the good jobs were in government I wrote the following. I wouldn't say I was inspired to do so, it sounds too pure, but I rather wrote what I ruminated.

I don’t want to work for the government, not because I loath cushy jobs with above average benefits, pay, retirement, and time off, but rather because I have a problem with state employees accepting such things from an employer who came upon the funds through tyranny. If I join the state in their dirty business, I become them; I turn into the object of my abhorrence; responsible for the stigma attached to the tyrant of today. I couldn’t live with myself if I became an accomplice to all the state does, even if it meant a comfortable life.

But, what should I do with my life? Is there a career for me? If disdain and deprecation is all I have for what the masses consider valuable, how can I be successful in any business? I can't sell things I don't consider valuable because I'd feel I was cheating a person into their own materialism.

Certain joys I have: Plants and People. Interaction with and knowledge about these I love to seek. There must be a spot for me somewhere.

I don’t know what to do with my life though. I want joyful, fulfilling purpose, I want to live for another's benefit, but with these thoughts in mind I invariably end up with a desire to protect people from tyranny. Even this, though, would not benefit anyone in the long run or in any permanent way. If history proves that there will never be a perfect world, why should I start building one?

Here’s the problem: Nothing lasts. Why should I invest the one valuable thing; time, in things that are worthless in comparison? No one would invest something of value into something without hope of a valuable return. Why should I use my time for anything but pleasure? That’s the only valuable return, and it’s dismally temporary. I can't win, I can't break even, and I can't get out of the game.

I don’t know what I’m here for, but I know what I don’t like. I don’t like tyranny. I don’t like onerous restriction of otherwise free people. I don’t like pain. I don't like the level of narcissism I sink to when writing stuff like this. Adios.